Lexi is the 15th foster child that we have had live in our home. She arrived one evening while I was at work. My husband and kids were here to welcome her. What sticks out in my mind is calling home anxiously wondering what this new little person in our life would be like. My husband was kind of vague when describing her. Dark hair; overweight. Then I finally asked the question that seems so shallow, but one that we all wonder: "Is she cute?" To which Greg replied, "Uh, no, not really." It made me laugh because I could not imagine any 16 month old baby girl who was not cute. I figured he was just dreading the sleepless nights and lost freedom (and lost TV remote) of having a new little one living with us. I don't have those concerns in the beginning. Each child is like a Christmas present that needs to be unwrapped. The excitement of not knowing what is inside is what keeps me fostering.
From the beginning we knew that Lexi was different from any child we had had before. She was completely non-verbal. She didn't even make a sound unless she was crying, which she rarely did. She walked way high on her toes so that her feet had grown to be deformed. They were shaped like a duck's foot except they were very thick and her toes kind of dangled at the top when she was flat-footed. Finding shoes for her feet was nearly impossible.
Lexi made no eye contact and moved constantly. She walked, walked, walked- falling every few steps due to her very unstable gait. She spun in little circles and walked backward as much as forward. She never stopped moving. When she was forced to hold still, she rocked and swayed back and forth. Lexi rubbed her little middle finger against her thumb constantly. She would not be engaged in any activity. If I tried to get her attention with a toy, she would take it as she walked past, shaking it in an awkward way with her arm outstretched as she kept moving.
Within a day we also noticed that she apparently could not hear. We were told that other professionals in her life such as her pediatrician and therapists had sent her for two hearing tests because they had the concern that she could not hear as well. The results were inconclusive. She completely ignored all sounds whether it be her own name being called out, or something as jarring as a pot being hit with a spoon right next to her. She was oblivious. We scheduled her third hearing test.
Lexi had great challenges with eating. She did not know what to do when we would put a bowl of food with a soon or fork in front of her. She would take that bowl and turn it upside down without attempting to eat. Then she would pick up the utensil and strike it repeatedly against the tray or whatever made the loudest noise. When I would try to feed her with a utensil, she would thrust her tongue forward as a small baby just learning to eat would do- making most of the food drip down her chin. If I gave her finger food, such as a sliced banana, she would stuff it all in her mouth at an alarming rate and begin gagging. Even while gagging, however, she would continue to stuff more food in! It was so distressing to witness. I had to feed her little bits of food at a time, not leaving it available to her to put in her mouth by herself, lest she choke.
Although she rarely cried, she screamed when being changed due to the blistering, bleeding diaper rash she arrived with. She also resisted getting dressed by stiffening her arms and legs in a confusing manner. She seemed unfamiliar with even the most basic childhood routines such as bathing, dressing and eating with utensils. Each time I worked with her I would wonder what was inside this little person. What was she capable of? How much could she understand and progress? What hope did her future hold? Lexi was a mystery.
